renegations

click these to view!

"caution"   click to view

In the upper left of "caution" we see a snag of caution tape from a renegade mission accomplished by Jennifer in february 1999, in which she traversed the construction zone of the new UCSB art museum.  We have long fancied such impromptu expeditions, as upon our many walkabouts we encounter such zones of construction or the unseen that beckon our exploration.  Z page this week got us reminiscing about our renegations from the last 14 years, via "chat"

ceci (10:49 AM):  hi! I was vaccuming    hemphill (10:47 AM):  Me too!!!     ceci (10:49 AM):  lol   

hemphill (10:49 AM):  wow, - what does that mean?... about us both sucking up dust and bugs and other particles, before coming to this session... interesting, especially for me because of the dust factor, dirt, which comes with going into a construction zone. You don't go in new, clean clothes, ya know.

ceci (10:52 AM):  right!    ceci (10:52 AM):  renegades often are in camouflage of their terrain     

hemphill (10:53 AM):  yes, color blending...my favorite memory

ceci (10:54 AM):  so let's see... we would be on adventures at night on campus... off hours...no man's land ...ours for the taking

hemphill (10:54 AM):  ...remember when we went ontop of the new humanities building - and scaled the thin disk, record like escapements?

ceci (10:54 AM):  that was the BEST, way high   up like treading on a saturn ring ...way beyond imaginings    

hemphill (10:55 AM):  I think Hesse or McLaughlin were with us on that one?    

ceci (10:55 AM):  Hesse for sure    hemphill (10:55 AM):  I thought so   ceci (10:55 AM):  after us breaking into a classroom!

ceci (10:59 AM):  so the first I remember, is the new admin building being built in like spring of 1996 I guess, yeah, 'cause when I got back to school the next year it was finished and in use by then... it was night, of course, we were walking by and we both looked at each other like.. we just knew what was next

ceci (11:03 AM):  in that moment I was remembering that back in high school Vinh and I snuk into construction zones of new homes being built and had romantic evenings in the wooden skeletons of homes to be, complete with candle lit dinner.

ceci (11:04 AM):  and I think you also shared with me at the time some memories of your past construction zone fun too...   what did we do, climb the fence, or find a gap to enter through?

hemphill (11:06 AM):  I'm pretty sure, we wiggled through something - a gap or whatnot... we may have needed to climb fence to get out.

ceci (11:06 AM):  I think a dumpster was involved... for helping boost us... and we went to the structure's upper levels, right?

hemphill (11:07 AM):  quick sideflash - the first time I ever climbed a fence, was with my dad, after we broke into my moms school and office to decorate her room for her 40th birthday, I think I was - um, 12?    

ceci (11:08 AM):  that is RAD.... another school!.... afterhours baby

hemphill (11:08 AM):  Ok, a dumpster, I do not recall that... ha ha ha....  And, if we went to the second floor, you may be thinking of another entry besides what i'm thinking of, though I don't think you are... I remember very skeletal - and lots of holes, and cement.

hemphill (11:10 AM):  That was the first I remember too though - and it was awesome! it was a possibly a greater turning point in our friendship... like, no turning back, ever!

hemphill (11:11 AM):  do you think that was pre- zbook? i'd guess pre for sure.

hemphill (11:12 AM):  I was so bummed by that whole new stretch of buildings and reconstructions, which that admin building seemed to be the first... because of the loss of z perfect tunnel.

hemphill (11:12 AM):  where else?    hemphill (11:13 AM):  I remember a disc hucking session on a big construction zone in Vegas - like a parking lot in construction - do you have that memory?

ceci (11:14 AM):  yes, in the back lot of the Venician, 1999...may...  we somehow, only Hemphill and cec, got out a random backdoor...

hemphill (11:15 AM):  p.s.l. that's the first time I've heard about yours and Vinh's exploits into off- limits - coolio - nice picture

ceci (11:15 AM):  .....and ended up where no one ever goes, total behind the scenes..... behind the sets....   where the garbage and dirty golf carts live....

hemphill (11:16 AM):  yes, that was a great trip too - minus the loss of the genie - somewhere out there, on the road to Vegas!

ceci (11:16 AM):  alleys and dumpsters and nthing painted pretty...   

ceci (11:16 AM):  O yeah!  sacrafice to the gods    hemphill (11:16 AM):  oooh, I didn't recall dirty golf carts.    ceci (11:17 AM):  ...yeah, just so not "Vegas"....  ...but what makes it all run you know...

hemphill (11:17 AM):  what do you remember about sacrificing to the gods? - I must have been imbibing something.

ceci (11:17 AM):  ...leave it to us to discover the real deal...   ceci (11:17 AM):  the genie    hemphill (11:18 AM):  I'd be paranoid to day, I've seen to many CSI episodes.

ceci (11:18 AM):  DUDE and it's VEGAS, where there is a cmaera in every crack and cranny!... although we were doing nothing wrong at all, just tooling around and hucking disc

hemphill (11:19 AM):  yeah, but still, Vegas seems, run by people...who don't play frisbee!

and, O yes, and let it be known that we adore hucking disc, or tossing the frisbee as it is commonly known, and play as we walk and travel as we huck, the disc always leading us to new terrains to trespass...

∞ ceci

6

The Story of Stuff

Speaking of the systems of industry and consumption that target us And that we participate in... have you seen The Story of Stuff ?  In just 20 minutes, this little video breaks down the infrastructure of our consumption based economy and our "stuff" dependent lifestyles and how the "linear system" of how our stuff is produced and consumed can't possibly sustain our "finite planet indefinitely." And all with super accessible and cute cartoon animation that bring in the palatable slash funny factor that keeps us giggling a bit so we can face and swallow the truth which, like I was saying in my last post, helps us get present to our reality so we can be in position for present action (change).

Annie Leonard, the author and host of The Story of Stuff, said this in the Los Angeles Times article from this month on her and her -Story- videos:

"We environmentalists are a whiny, wonky bunch," Leonard says. "We bombard people with facts. But who wants to join a movement where people just scold you? We have to make it inspiring. We have to make it fun."

YES! Exactly what Z page of this week "caution" is rooted in... awareness through pointing out the likes of the very silliness of our own "bought" into systems.  (And look at how our page "caution" also has linear system imagery, with arrows, just like Annie uses in her video.. neat!)  Annie's "fun" strategy of communicating that which is very serious is used in another of her videos The Story of Bottled Water, only 8 minutes and excellent. Both pieces contain links to solutions and actions we can take now. Watch them here....!

Click to View Large ... on the right side of "caution" find
the linear system going down, with arrows, like the 
horizontal one in The Story of Stuff

∞ ceci

6

this too shall trespass

"caution"

Both an ode and an exposé, "caution" is a cautionary tale about 

our modern world, the world we love and hate... of conveniences, 

standards, regulations, technologies, structures, communications, 

test markets, commercial branding, warnings, liabilities, and 

messages, messages, messages.  All with a good chuckle, of 

course, at all the hoopla and conditioned frameworks we create.

 * click all images to view large *

This page is comprised of mostly an assemblage of the daily stuff of our lives, gleaned from the stuff we consume, cut out tags and peeled off stickers with messages of some kind of warning or commercial agenda.  Messages that tell us or sell us what to do and what to not do. Or messages that "feel good" but are manufactured for the sole purpose to sell a product; we consume the message, we consume the product... in other words, we "buy it."  

But "caution," in the very act of identifying each object and placing it on this page, is also a revelry in being AWARE... of being a target, being a market group, being conditioned, being hooked on "convenience," and being a willing participant in it all.  It is a wake up call to our own part of the game and a kick in the pants for being hip to it.  It's a chance to call ourselves out and confess that these things that give us "security" and "freedom" actually keep us captive... 

 

...like the car that makes us feel free to go anywhere but is ruled by the viscous animal which is oil that holds the keys.  Huh, funny, I just now made that specific coloration, with oil.  This cut out image has always, for years now, signified to me the irony of our dependence on technology, as well as the nature vs. nurture debate, And now, in 2010, my thinking goes beyond technology, for it is painfully clear that our dependence is truly on what fuels our technology and the fuel that it is all manufactured with... for thAt is the true gate keeper and key master.  I could wallow in disgust and animosity but that is a loop hole keeps us in the muck where there is no hope or possibilities. It is our expanding AWARENESS and release of our shame that gets us present and in position to make actual changes.  For me, that is what this page is about, the moment of honestly looking myself in the face, and instead of crying, have a good laugh at our unthinkable state, and begin to trespass our trespassers, change the game, make new choices, cross the boundary lines of the regulations that regulate our minds.  Laughter may just be our first step over the barrier.

∞ ceci

6

week fourteen >> "caution" - JULY: HOT pages!

Continuing our forage into Hot pages, we take you now to territory off-limits.  Behold, "Caution"!  Freeze frame to a story flash of friendship on fire...one fateful night, probably in the fall, Zbook went renegade, leading us into the darkness of "under construction, keep out".  As we dared and lept through fresh passage and creeping hall, we called our courage to explore a building zone on UCSB campus - and truth be told, it wasn't the first or the last of such endeavorings.  Take hold, this thought: 'to none but the bold and courageous go any pieces of yellow tape' imposters watch out!

Tres-pass

Count-down - 4-3-2-1-

Vis-cer-al EX-plo-sion,

A-B-C, mo-neyin, brown-box a-la gol-den.
Beep - -Beep - B-eep,- Beep, Be-ware
deep holes, sharp blades, mean teeth, piercing rays.
Stay clear, Grass-crawler, take care -
nipple-test tech-nol-o-gys.

Mo-by pil-low-bombs,

point to king-dom comes,

Map-of- faces, Con-ste-lla-tions,

love-cannons stan-ding by.

Roc-ket boo-sters - trip-le threats,

Red-dead-ly, Bu-bbles,

Quick-craw-ling Scu-ttles,

French-phoned se-crets.

ExSat - De-li-ver-y,

Gal-i-le-o glow, groo-vy sanwich-to-go,

mar-ket -la-tit-ude – be-tween,

chiquita, monfrita,

comeshakeawithmea,

A-L-O-fellas-we-gree-tya,

Gold-pink-purple, hear me screamyah -

Your - Heart - PLAY - WOW - Do not leav-eah!

-J.G.

Fleischman & O'Connell

Throughout ZBOOK you will find a number of quotes gleaned from Northern Exposure, a television show from the 1990's (1990-1995) that has 4ever captured our hearts and inspiration ever since we both discovered the show individually just months before meeting in 1996 (thanks PSL). Jennifer first mentioned our adoration for the show in Clicking Away.  Well, amongst the wonderful ensemble of characters are our main flames: Dr. Joel Fleischman, the New York doctor who we follow into Cicely Alaska in his doomed/blessed 5 year obligation as the town's physician, and Maggie O'Connell, Gross Point (Michigan) beauty turned Alaskan bush pilot.  From their first encounter these two are at each other's throats AND ironically also share an intense underlying desire to devour each other, you know, in the best way.  Either way, this friction creates HEAT.

"You're either lovers, or you're wanting to be lovers, or you're trying not to be lovers so you can be friends, anyway you look at it sex is always looming in the picture like a shadow, like an undertow."
Maggie O'Connell (circus comes to Cicely episode)

"What I really want is to lick her naked body from head to foot like a postage stamp."
Joel Fleischman (the 2 Fleischmans episode)

And so,  Z page this week, "hot," is a reveling in friction and tension and anticipation and... sweet release.  The stories written on this page by our own hands feel like quotes from our psyches, from hot moments, from in or out of time?  Like the page says across the very bottom... 

"               a  fantasy               ...........                a  memory               ...........               both               ...........              "

"hot"   click to view Large

∞ ceci

6

in a sea of tears

I was just up north in the bay area visiting Xman and dear family friends...  and upon my return home I was greeted by this postcard! ...from Jennifer, from her recent travels to Maui...

Postcard from Jennifer in Maui   click for view

Histological image of our eyes' Lacrimal gland

Look closely and discover two kayaking wanderers amidst the gorgeous abyss of this Olowalu reef.  These yellow kayaks seem to have been added into this photograph (up close they appear a bit cartoonish)... and that's wonderful because they offer a scale perspective that suggests how wide and large the reefs really are.  Without the kayakers this image could be anything... from a wider topographical image of a sea between two far larger landmasses, or as microscopic as a histological image of the human eye's Lacrimal gland, which secretes our tears into out tear ducts.  Now what I LOVE to do is imagine our kayakers as huge submarines emerging from the deep waters of a great inlet sea OR imagine our kayakers as microbes traveling in a sea of tears released into the ducts of a human eye.  I can make this any "world" I want, zooming in and out, all while still seeing it as the coral reef it is.  

This is the macro/micro relativity and perspective changeability which I recognize and celebrate in all things, and fervently express in my work.  And like in the postcard, I am now exploring the use of including recognizable life forms in my rather abstract inner/outer landscapes, giving suggestions of perspective levels and access points for stories to be envisioned.  As in my recent painting The Moment.  Which is why it is SO wonderful to receive this postcard right now in the midst of my recent experience with my painting and reflecting on it in here last week.  Thank you Jennifer! You mailed this from Maui, without any knowing about the process I had been undergoing with my painting, 2 days before I posted about it, essentially at the very same time as when I was gathering up photos and composing my thoughts about it.  By now the synchronicity that we experience is not surprising, but it remains quite delightful and a source of great gratitude for the magic that is inherent in life.  

Also noteworthy is the comment that Jennifer made on my post from last week about The Moment.  It is a true refection of this postcard!

It ("The Moment") reminds me of a recent kayak adventure T. and i took on our last day in Maui. The perspective was so new in so many ways, though we were in an area quite familiar, the vantage was expansive. At one point, I jumped in the ocean, and we were deeper than we would be just swimming. I had my goggles on and the view into the depths was stunning, kind of a shock too - the green-blue color and the light rays bouncing off the visible but distant sands - it was disarming. Through that morning trip, I had moments of fear, however, there was also a strong sense of presence of protection - serenity and guidance of where to go and what choices to make - we just had to tune into the instincts.

this post written during week 13 "hot"

Thank you Jennifer, for trusting and following your instincts.  It is an honor to be tuned in with you.

∞ ceci

6

Life is so fi-lipin' Bizarre

'HOT'- a spread with a thousand stories.
click for larger view

Oh my, oh my oh my , oh my, oh my ohh,

it is HOT tonight L.A.,

sweltering heats in the sheets.

All babes are still,

let's take a thrill, down loves eternal flame.

Closet covers layed to coat,

rocking chair, breasts so bare,

edge of bed, back-yard moat,

 living - room, boom bam boom.

Feelin' right, burning light,

ear's sharp sight - faint Saint churning.

Mamma's there, touch and care,

roll to Daddy's burn, returning.

And so, into the dark, tonight, before climbing into my husbands bed...

my thoughts were dear, in flight to steer, my grandmothers home brocade.

In Pico's care, my hearts sheer tear, will sleep, god rest her mind.

'Ancestors behind po-em voices, a few.'
see week  ____for more         -J. Gould

Fruit and water, air and caller, sweety dreams, weary genes.

Yeay, Grandma is home, in her city, friends to caw.

Brave, tired and bossy, sucking gummies and straw.

and for god's sake, "She's not moving!

Tonight, suitcases were loaded, windows adjusted,

and beds to master remotes.

Tonight, roses were gathered, with rosemary and lavendar,

glass vase with a star in one side.

Kisses and hugs, gentle eyes, great big sighs,

we're in need of deep-tissue massage.

Perhaps, when its clear, this new path,

secret seer, takes a hand in the blooming brigade.

And till then, I, myself, every day onward boating,

every moment, swiftly floating.

But tonight, sweat and pet, groove and grind, 

don't be kind, till you're met with your partners straight line.

more to come,

 -J. Gould

week thirteen >> "hot" - JULY: HOT pages!

July is HOT page month, and this week's page is in fact..."hot." It is the page that first gave rise to heat in ZBOOK.  Ignited by words, "hot" is an ode to passion, in which breaths of secret moments tango with moments of secret fantasies. Both captivating and ephemeral, these verses travel like the wind through psyches, guts, loins, and hearts.  The ones of two young women, both vernal and fermented. 

"hot"              click to view LARGE

∞ ceci

6

Love Bomb Contractions

Hot page expand,

     now take me there

Oh yes, oh please, I'll show no fear.

Our hero here,

        he enters fair

and makes his way down Sodom's stair.

He flaps his foot,

     he flips his press

He mingles downward toward my chest.

click for larger view

Light bright, thine eyes beware

peel, squeal, pastel-curtained underwear.

Watch out, loves test

sharp blades inject thy bold request.

Flesh wet, squeezed in

pink caverns, endometrium.

shiver, quiver,

   loves touch

breathe, heave, too much.

Sparkle seen,

   lining green

kiss, lick, flower queen.

Squish, squeeze,

    Oh, please

splish, splash, drip, teaze.

-J. Gould

p.s.l. update on my post, 7-2-10: GGmas doing better, still in hopital in Maui.  She's working hard, through pain to endure physical therapy so she can come home to LA, possibly next week!

the moment

"The Moment"                       click to view

A month ago I shared about my live painting experience at the Lighting in a Bottle Festival (see June 10 post) and about how the process helped me wake up to where I am growing as an artist.  Also I shared how the painting, for me, was not complete... I had not treated the edges, signed and dated it, or even titled it.  Most importantly, it was missing the final touch, an element that would bring it closure so that it could truly commence.  As I mentioned in that prior post, it is the element of STORY that most excites me right now, which I feel deepens a piece/painting from symbolic to experiential.  Fortunately I was able to get in touch with the top bidders of the painting and ask them if they'd be open to my bringing closure to the piece. Nicole and Chad graciously welcomed me to their home in San Luis Obispo to do what I needed to do.  I treated the edges, fine tuned the tundra, and then gave this "place" a reason for being... 

click these to view

click these to view
below, Nicole & Chad & Guinness

enter two little figures who are traveling this terrain.  A pilgrimage? A walkabout?  Is this the place they are in, or is this place in them, in their minds, projected into their world.  Who's dreaming who?  The dialogue between the duo on the land, the interplay between them and and the large peaceful figure in the distance, their relationships with each other and with the other elements in the atmosphere... untold stories are to be conceived of and mused over by you, the viewer, and ultimately by the owners who have this piece hanging in their living room.  Thank you Nicole and Chad for your warm welcome and open hearts.  It was such a pleasure to have the opportunity to bring this piece "home" right with you in your home. I am grateful and honored.  

The title is The Moment. 

Everyone, please share any impressions and stories you feel through this piece, in comments below.  I'd love to hear your feedback.  This piece marks yet another new beginning for me and my art. My experience of its process and myself, from the live painting at LIB to the finishing touches at its home, is even more significant to me than how the piece resulted.  A shift occurred in me, a vital one. Not only in my creative process, also in my human process.

"love bomb"   click to view

I am tickled that this week's page from ZBOOK reflects a similar elemental sythesis as in The Moment. "Love Bomb" consists of mostly abstract imagery, starting with the middle black ink drawing, then radiating pastel aura layers, onto the what started as a flower and mutated over time into an eruption of color, and then the cell like growths that nestled in beneath.  A pretty picture indeed. And then BAM!  I opened up ZBOOK one day to find our hero taking his place in the sky and revealing the reason for the color-shed.  It was his doing, all along! Thanks to Jennifer, he finally revealed himself!  One of the bold moves, out of many, that she has made with collage in ZBOOK, each time surprising and delighting me, inspiring what is possible.  These bold moves are simple, for even just one personal element, such as the hero in "Love Bomb" and the duo in The Moment, can activate a scene into a scenario, into a STORY.  Or many, as may be the case, the wonderful head case that is, that IS your imagination.  A case packed with mystery and curiosity and risk taking and story breaking, live and uninterrupted, full coverage, behind the scenes, and all the in-betweens, nothing is what is seems and it's the nothing that means everything!  Or at least what you deem, this time around. Let's now take another look for a moment.... :)

∞ ceci

6

week twelve>> "love bomb" - JULY: HOT pages!

It's July, it's summer, and it' hot, so all month we bring you HOT pages from ZBOOK! These steamy pages are HOT for all their own unique reasons.

This week we debut with "Love Bomb"

"love bomb" click to view

In the light, or dark, of all the fully engaged weapons, in this current day, being used to assert "power" over people and claim their very lives, I look at this page and remember that our greatest power is still yet untapped... the most potent energy source is harnessed inside of us, and it involves no external machine nor target to destroy, in order to prosper. Power over others is a false "power." It is truly a denial of self power for it depends on the demise of others in order to "be" "powerful." Proper power is not control, for control NEEDS something/ someones to control, and proper power needs nothing to power it, it IS power... power simply IS. It stands alone and is regenerative. True power does not plug in to anything, though it may be plugged into. So maybe then power can truly be found in the strength and endurance of the people, such as the people who are at the mercy of the "powers" that be, or should we say "controllers" that be. They are being tapped into, plugged into to "supply" the so-called "power" of the controllers. This strength and endurance, this fortitude, this courage and perseverance... call it heart, call it spirit, call it love, call it god even or divine life force... it is ENERGY, the energy that makes the matter of us and the energy that enlivens this matter into being. Our BEING alone IS power.

Okay, so this is what we are discovering/remembering... but as far as actually tapping into the renewable source of energy that WE are, well we haven't even scratched the surface. Most of us follow the models of "power" shown to us by the controllers that be, unfortunately led the way by our own very government and corporations, and thus still seek power from an external source and usually at the expense of others. I feel that if and when we open ourselves to an expanded awareness of our true nature, we will find that we can move objects, communicate wirelessly without any external devise, and send direct forces of our energy to each other. In many ways we already do, we're just not "seeing" it so we not "believing" it, and thus we cannot know it... yet. This power, this energy, this ISness... let's call it love... let us begin to own it, harness it, and set it off! I am turned ON.

We are on the brink of unearthing our super powers, we ALL can be heroes.

∞ ceci

6

elements of infinity

"infinity"   click

This page "infinity,"  during all 14 years of its transforming life in ZBOOK, was created with only 7 elements.  3 of which laid the foundation, which I shared about in the week eleven intro post: my ink flower, Jennifer's felt ink female in shapes, and the colors I painted to dance with both, while painting faces in Guadalajara in 1997.  In all these years of constant adding to and recreating Z pages, this page received only 4 more elements:

 The ring of gold twisted into infinity and landed into her hands...

The gold sign of infinity that the dancer (as I feel her to be) is beholding came during the same Guad visit in 1997.  The paint is not painted on, it is in fact applied.  From a cheap bottle of gold acrylic, the kind you find at a craft store, I had unscrewed the top and peeled off the ring of dried paint that had formed at its neck. In my hand this remnant became object and I had to find its use and place in the world.  Enter ZBOOK, this place where all beloved objects (and ideas, and observations, and experiments...) could find possible refuge and purpose.  The ring of gold twisted into infinity and landed into her hands.  hmm... like that.  And it didn't even need to be glued, I pressed the dried yet still gummy object into place and there it has stayed, wonderfully tactile, infinitely intact.

 

The band took root in infinity, where their music was already abloom...

The little Japanese band of musicians... also came from Guadalajara, this time in 1999 while I was living there teaching art at the elementary school for 6 months.  The newspaper in Guad so often had a plethora of great images to cut out and collage with.  These little dudes wanted to play another venue so after gleaning them from the newspaper we toured the pages of ZBOOK for their next residency.  The band took root in infinity, where their music was already abloom, and in fact has always been playing.  

 

Infinity humbly received a silver lining...

In 2002 a gel pen of silver at my local art shop surpassed in quality any gel pen I had since tried and left such a truly metallic silver trace that it eclipsed the mess of the classic metalic ink pens I grew up with, you know the ones you have to shake up, press the felt tip down often leaking out a bubble of ink, and are potent with fumes.  With my new pen I left silver traces, with delightful ease, where ever I could. Infinity humbly received a silver lining.

 

The dancer paints infinity...

This collaged piece is from Jennifer.  ~J, I had always seen the figure you drew as a dancer, and ever since you put this paintbrush in her hand I love to correlate dancer with painter, feeling that if you could trace the movements of dancers into lines you would see the most enthralling images, making them painters after-all.  Do you recall this element's origins?  If so, would love hear about it... I invite you to enter into this post and add its story here:
Jennifer insert: 
" Yes, the painting of dancing and the dancing of painting; Modes I am most in tune with - in both venues... Blessings on this hula dancer!
The paintbrush slice is gleened from a Huntington Gardens (Pasadena) newsletter.  When Hallie was 2 or 3, we bought a year membership and would enjoy the splendor of those grounds and also the images and stories from their monthly newsletter - thus that was in 2003/2004, roughly."
-J.

I look at this page now and am fascinated that it has stood stoic 

while a whirlwind of transmutation was ravishing all Z pages around it.  

With only 7 elements, versus the 100s that touched other pages, 

Infinity stands as a presence of grace, quite bare, baring witness 

to ZBOOK and our lives.

∞ ceci

6

Dancer Be Well

Eight hours ago my grandma fell and broke her femur bone at the hip.  She's in surgery to receive a rod through the length of her largest leg bone.  I'm feeling a drowsy, nautious imbalance.  Please pray for healing and strength of thought for all our family.  This event has activated my pulsations to my cousin family.  We have been speaking and e-mailing as I update Grandma's condition.  It is a great relief to feel the warmth of support from friends and family... it is a huge hug of invisible arms allowing one to float - mahalo!

Infinity's Hula Dancer

My Grandma, Great-Grandma to my children, is 92 years old as of March this year.  She is a dancing queen.  You have never seen anyone strut their stuff till you've seen my Grandma.  In her youth and adulthood before marriage and children, she was a professional tap dancer, touring the states with the George White Scandals dancing troupe.  Before, during, and after that, she was a movie star with Gene Autry and Roy Rogers, specializing in dance and song numbers.  She looks great in Black and White and Technicolor.  Grandma Pearl's stage name was Carol Adams.  She met my Grandpa when she was doing a "soundie", where she was the star of an early music video; she tapped and danced, and maybe occassionally lip synced to a song of the day.  My cousin-in-law, Don Smith has done some tremendous research and gathering of Grandma's record of work from internet and such, and connected her with current celebrations of the golden age of Hollywood, where she is revered for her spry youthfulness and beauty.

"infinity"    click to view

Infinity's subject, the Hula dancer, is a celebration of the spirit of the dancer, the gesture of the dance.  There is no dance in me which does not have its roots, its ancestry in my grandma's shared dancing.  I honor her with these words and with my prayerful thoughts, and I send out my heart to ask for others healing prayers and loving thoughts toward my Grandma's recovery here in Maui. 


Blessings to you all and peace to all nations. 
Humbly,
Jennifer Gould

week eleven>> "infinity"

One of our fave pages, "Infinity" has stood just as it is for at least 11 years, since 1999, with the exception of the silver lining which I feel appeared in 2002 when I fell in love with silver gel roller pens.  Perhaps the most UNtouched page of ZBOOK, the page with the fewest layers and fewest touches, "infinity" knew just what it was almost immediately and, with conviction, has stood boldly ever since and never asked for more.  During my stay in Guadalajara in 1997, when I found myself painting all those faces out of thickly stroked shapes (as I've shared in week 7), 

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I opened up ZBOOK one day and found this page with Jennifer's felt marker expression of a female dancing (composed of shapes! to my delight) on right and my ink drawing flower on the left, both of which had been drawn within the first 6 months of ZBOOK.  I dipped into each of the colors I was painting faces with and began to create thickly stroked tentacles from behind the flower.  And then addressed the negatives spaces created by Jennifer's dancing female. Only four things were added after that and then the page was done, for years.  While all the other pages around it went on wildly metamorphosing, this one incubated, gracefully.

∞ ceci

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Journey from the Ocean to the Sky

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What breath I inhale when I think on this place I am in, this Maui home in Makena. Our family has held sacred moments here on many occasions. We have been married, we have baptized our children and perhaps conceived one of them on this island we love. For me, this place has a fifteen year memory, including time space when my Grandfather walked on the sands of Polo Beach and sat on the stone bench outlooking toward Wailea Bay. On the "Horizon" spread, there is imagery cut and paste from one special trip I'd like to reflect on for the first time here.
In 1996, I was in Maui, awaiting the arrival of my family, before my husband and children. My dear housemate Kim was with me, and Morris was staying at 101. I remember elements of the stay, we were having fun!

Then, I received a phone call from my dad with news that my Grandpa had gone into a comma with a brain aneurysm while packing, my Grandma had found him and he was in the hospital unconscious and dying. Then, he died and my family went into mourning and calling on all our family to gather in LA.

I prepared to return for the funeral in a few days, and mourned in Maui.

I dove deeply into the waves
and spoke to the sunsets as I waded in the ocean colors.

I listened and offered many prayers to many
and thanked those around me for sharing the rainy space.

dancers pasted in from Maui

When I look at HORIZON JoURNEY, I am aware of that connected space
and I dive once again into the melting colors of ocean and sky and word.

I pasted many things during that time I feel
and I cut a few here and there with my sharp razor blade.

these dancers they laid to protect something sweet,
and I let in their graceful, calm gestures with a lulling dark sleep.

When I returned by plane carrying long maile
and wearing flowing blue, I joined my family from all relations.

I held my grandmothers hand
and heard my uncle cry one huge sob.

Later, my grandmother told me the lei
over casket was a caressing soft hug for her eyes.

And now, in zbook,I have once again found time to reflect
and collect and dive into a space beyond my everyday knowing.

I am grateful beyond senses out
to come into this place, now again, with my grandma and whole family.

to soak in the ocean salt
and laugh loud with my children,

and hold hands with my husband
and walk in the sand with my grandma.

Blessings on your days,
ALoha, -J. Gould

to be continued everywhere

I feel drawn to uplift this piece of the page, so that we can submerge in these words transmitted by Jennifer...

thank you Hemphill... what a pleasure it is to unearth, more and more, your verses from ZBOOK

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∞ ceci

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ALOHA

A                  L                 O            H        A
I have small spurts of desires to post all night; however, I have ocean colors calling me moment to moment, and children asleep in the sand to tend to when they wake, and great-grandmothers to show gratitude and care to, and wind to absorb, and water to dive into, and birds to hear, and papayas to prepare and pineapple skewered mai tais to imbibe...continue on and on. Though last night, at the locale food only, 'Flatbread Pizza', in Paia, ( I have pictures), GG and I continued the mojito gesture we had been served earlier w/mint at Polo Beach, when we sucked down fresh, organic ginger, 100%  pomegranate juice mojitos with mint and ice in large tumblers - phew)...

Gecko's chirp... have you caught that on any of your Hawaii sojourns, anyone?

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Last night, no, two nights ago, T. and I awoke in the 4am hour and watched a dripping full moon disappear into cloud, island, and sea.  And of course, Sunsets are where the mai tai's go down.  Tonight, T's bbquing fresh caught Mahi Mahi for fish tacos we'll make for 5, while Gp and Gma go to an O'lei party   ALO - HAAAH!

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yes, Breathe in, Breath out, all day..

GG's in need for me,

 -Aloha and mahalo -J.

p.s.l. I am working on an edit to post this eve, of zblizzard epics stories...

week ten >> "horizon"

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Turning to this page I'm suddenly dreaming, lucid dreaming... laws of physics dissolve... I'm flying... or swimming... or traveling in between subconscious levels... and there are voices, who speak in verse and riddles, and sign language.  Jennifer is responsible for most of the words on this page... viva her ability to respond!  Fearlessly delivering story, word by word, before it's even heard by even her.  Like a lucid dream- you're aware and in control yet you can only know what is possible in the moment you discover it.  Such is art.  Such is travel.  Such is life.  In a world of "guarantees" and top ten lists and homogenized corporate controlled consumer experiences we sacrifice adventure and our affinity for the strange and unusual which usually would lead to our greatest creative discoveries, in our art and in our lives.  

detail from "horizons" bottom of left page at center
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I revere the venue for sanctioned madness that ZBOOK has provided us.  Helping me give myself permission to create from this FREE place in my every other arena.  Fortifying my ability to respond.  Responding to existing horizons and in turn, creating new ones.

Happy solstice everyone...

And Happy birthday to my dear ol' pal Shrine who forges new horizons with every step he creates... 

And happy anniversary leOz and Vanina, my dear family, I celebrate youz and honor the beautiful life you are creating together -your adventure inspires my own.

∞ ceci

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