12 January 2012
week eighty five >> "Gesture"
Cec darlin,
With love, longing, slight frustration, tired calmness, and ever present gratitude I send these thoughts to you.
(my computer, working fine, then I go to attempt blog, and something new overtakes the screen... Directing me once again to this tiny phone screen ;)
My gesture this week, this month, this year - Intensity
- the knight of Fire. The turn of the calendar along with my return to work, after this long semester injury break, has my heart and mind and body pumping. I've had a few restless nights too, as the pump turned toward anxiety. From the most intense moments of this feeling, I turned to the Zen tarot for navigation tools... I pulled a dynamic spread, my first time, using the Celtic key layout. The Knight of Fire showed himself as the Key to the issue, and I am heeding the guidance. Taking each task into my arrows flame. This attitude is helping me, because the anxiety is still present, bubbling. The gesture of intensity is helping me use it, and not be afraid of it, at least when I'm in intensity. If Im in anxiety, intensity leads me through.
I've loved reading your thoughts in the past week - ive felt connected to your thought world through your sharings. Im so glad you made the space to return to the yIppee page and express some of your outpour of thoughts there... Its soo good o release what is known to need releasing. I spent new Years Eve in a torrent of tears, followed by a chant dance to the moon. New years Day was a beautiful, mountain filled time as we took the kids hunting for snow up the Angeles Crest. Thus, my creation of the week picture - Gould family snowman 2012!
Love you, talk to you soon
-J.
Ps. Your drawing is beautifully multi-faceted.
04 January 2012
week eighty four >> "Gesture"
click for large view |
Hemphill, did I show you this drawing?
a lil' sketchy sketch in my journal right now.... I did it while watching SNL with my lil bro Xman.
here are some details (click for large view):
Z page from this week is "gesture" ...reminds me that these lines I draw, are like a map of my inherent brand of gesturing. the drawing is the capturing of what I'm drawn to and what is drawn out of me. you made the drawing on Z page of me singing, yes? O yes, there it is the date at the bottom of Z page, my performance with Novocaine at the derby the summer I moved to los angeles... wow and now we are in 2012. well what a page then to start off this year, as major moves are in the works this year for me and my singing... stay tuned!
∞ ceci
6
31 December 2011
week eighty three >> "Solstice"
dear Hemphill,
our last circle of 2011, on the eve of this last week of 2011, has been stirring in me ever since. sitting together in your family's newly re-newed kitchen, as the sun was rising the Christmas eve morning, reflecting on our experience this year with our blogging here in ZBOOK4EVER, exploring how we may re-new our posting, and re-invigorate our rhythm... uncovering that, as we enter the Winter season, we are re-entering the season of PLAY, together.
what a delight to come out and play with you here in ZBOOK4EVER, our one of many playgrounds. I am excited for us to use this playground to share our daily creative whims, inspirations, and findings. as we continue to share our pages from ZBOOK, I can't wait to also hear about what is grabbing your attention today, what dreams are percolating in you, and what verse is channeling through. I can't wait to share with you here all that I trip out on and take in.
"solstice" our yearly ritual winter page~spread click to view |
next week, first week of the new year, heads up!
Bon Hiver my soul sister. "Jenn- I love you my friend"
4ever in gratitude,
cec
6
21 December 2011
week eighty two >> "Solstice"
we are compelled to bring back "Solstice" click to view |
astrologer, Divine Harmony, writes about this season's Winter Solstice, click here to read the full entry.
an excerpt:
Symbolically and spiritually the solstices mark our life's
journey through the light and the dark. As we embrace the Winter
Solstice it takes us to the depth of the shadow without and within as in
the northern hemisphere it is the day of the longest night. As we move
deeply into that darkness we emerge into a new cycle of light. This is a
beautiful metaphor for the constant dance of energies in our own lives,
to truly embrace and honor both our light and shadow. This is the
original meaning of wholeness which comes from holy or holiness: to be
holy is to be whole.
and an excerpt from our beloved Northern Exposure, the LIGHT episode:
BON HIVER!
6
14 December 2011
week eighty one >> "Kranky"
"kranky" |
Last words on Kranky, for now:
Though I do not have a teenager in the house quite yet, I've lately been on the receiving end of some pretty Kranky behavior from my daughter. Oh my, the looks how they're glaring, and the tone of voice, how it's searing. I'm quite sure there are moments when my actions, requests, or refusals start the ball rolling for these nasty spells; and I'm released from responsibility by the small degree of understanding of child development I am thankful to hold. And then, there is laughter and humor... And while these gifts don't always transcend Kranky for two in the moment, I can often move through the struggle with these helpful guides myself. I am grateful for rosy cheeks and acts of kindness between siblings and help with chores and excitement for the season. Cheers to the moon!
-J.
10 December 2011
week eighty >> "Kranky"
"kranky" click to view |
RE.......... |
RE call
RE cognition
RE member
RE creation
RE action
RE tell
Here is a great article, by Intuitive Heather Bleasdale from her Build Alters site, written this week which talk about this time of RE plus also about today's full moon and the total (Red) eclipse we experienced this morning. Told through her story of RE-organizing and clearing out... a theme swept up into our lives with last week's winds. [thanks jGrace for introducing me to Heather and her site :]
We often think we don't want change and resist it, let's feel for a moment how much change we actually do desire to have in our lives and our world... and let's dance with this looney train, allow for sanctioned madness, and allow the Re-generation of perspectives and ideas to Register (Re-jester :) We may Re-discover ourselves and our purpose, we may Re-new, and we may then RE-turn the kranky, Re-lease the joy and REJOICE.
∞ ceci
6
03 December 2011
week seventy nine >> "Kranky"
Z page "Kranky" came up this week as did the krankiest of winds whipping through los angeles in the late week, wiping out any loose aspect, any outmoded pieces, any last thing hanging on as if not later fall going into winter, perhaps now for years not just this particular season. countless trees and power lines and phone lines and transformers were taken down, cleared out. if the tree didn't fall, all the leaves did, at once. the disruptions that ensued, for thousands of people for miles around -power outages, internet down, closed off streets, stores closed, schools closed, traffic lights out, yards destroyed, homes and cars crushed, and moooore- are truly a collective experience that reflects the current retrograde that Mercury is currently playing up.... eliciting much confusion and delays and miscommunications that beckon frustration and further confusion and plain ol' krankiness! the winds and the wake are no exception!
last wednesday night, as the winds began to whip into a noticeable fury, Jennifer and I began to txt msg what would immediately become the inevitable verse:
> Wind
last wednesday night, as the winds began to whip into a noticeable fury, Jennifer and I began to txt msg what would immediately become the inevitable verse:
"kranky" click to view |
> Blowing fierce
> ViscousCITY
> Swirling streets
> Clearing skies, burning eyes
> Crescent moon, dustborn swoon
> The song of Sirens aloft on plume
> Veils of light through dark's black gloom
> Awake and now shake and Bloom.
> Morning Cracks with branches Cries,
> Evening falls as giants sigh.
the last two lines coming forth out of the next day as the winds continued and the 'wake'ing began. they ended up subsiding before reports had predicted, the aftermath is still being calculated and REsolved. more on the "RE"s next week...
∞ ceci
6
26 November 2011
week seventy eight >> "Arch"
"Arch" click to view |
I'm looking at zbook spread of the month... A profetic and perfect ARCH portrait. It speaks the essence of a bridge... And so, a bit of verse is called for:
Streaming out with a quiet 'yes' to nurture
layers of mitochondrial colors. The pregnant belly expanding beastily
beyond skin's fresh flattery. SO many circles, as many curves.
"WITH
ALL THESE SWELLINGS," one must expect to have questions when looking at
one's hands.
Under history's lineages of Angels,
Along watchful I and Wind,
Bleats Vestibule's great enchanting,
Encroaching Stamen's enraptured explosion. -the end
November was a good month to organize my studio space it turned out. The
clarified space enabled me to do some painting in service to the Elves'
Faire. I acrylic'd eight little
water pots for the Angel Room,
adorning them as gifts of creativity with a little brush, two blank
cards and two pads of watercolor taped into each. And I watercolored
two shields for the King Arthur's Market; a very cathartic project to
complete.
Happy Thanksgiving Season, thank you for the gratitude message, I loved it
-J.
25 October 2011
week seventy four >> "Arch"
"arch" click |
For the Michael Age
We must eradicate from the soul all feat and terror
of what comes toward us out of the future.
We must acquire serenity in all feelings and sensations about the future.
We must look forward with absolute equanimity
to everything that may come.
And we must think only that whatever comes
is given to us by a world directive full of wisdom.
It is part of what we must learn in this age, namely,
to live out of pure trust,
without any security in existence;
trust In the ever-present help of the spiritual world.
Truly, nothing else will do if our courage is not to fail us.
Let us discipline our will
and let us seek the awakening from within ourselves,
every morning and every evening.
-RUdolf S.
Holding you in my heart.
Hugs to you,
Be well,
-J.
20 October 2011
week seventy three>> "Yippee"
Sweet Cec,
These last two weeks of zbook non posting have gone by with blur and chaos and pain.
Seeing you yesterday was a much needed joining of our selves.
I crashed in the night, feeling bodily sick to my stomach - I know that the popcorn from Hallie and my outing, combined with the glass of wine was not sitting well, but also I think I ingested some of the emotional swirl which released in our time together.
On this 'yippee' spread, which we will now move from, didn't you tell me that the story words under 'Now I'm Free' are an accounting of your own life changing accident? And I know I shared that the 'Yippee' is a characteristic quote from my Grandma who is now deep in the heat of a life altering year. She told me recently that she is having trouble envisioning the future for herself, and that is so frustrating because she has more love to give and more time she wants to spend with us. I imagine one of the hardest parts of that experience for her is that it is a new experience, being as she has been such an optimistic thinker all her life.
Ive got to go now. I love you and am here for you with an ear, a hand, a hug, a home, whatever love.
Be well, -J.
These last two weeks of zbook non posting have gone by with blur and chaos and pain.
Seeing you yesterday was a much needed joining of our selves.
I crashed in the night, feeling bodily sick to my stomach - I know that the popcorn from Hallie and my outing, combined with the glass of wine was not sitting well, but also I think I ingested some of the emotional swirl which released in our time together.
"yippee" click to view |
Ive got to go now. I love you and am here for you with an ear, a hand, a hug, a home, whatever love.
Be well, -J.
05 October 2011
week seventy one >> "Yippee'"
5 january 2012
writing in retro-post recalling this day of 10/5/11 as the day of my dear friend Shrine's accident, which shook us all to the core and shifted our days for for many days as we focused on his care and support. miracle after miracle led to not only Shrine's survival, but also ultra transformative healing and regeneration and today as I write 3 months later after the day, our ol' pal is thriving. Shrine is an unbelievable healer, and the love and support that has come from Shrine lovers from every continent has proved to be vital and exponentially powerful.
if you would be interested in seeing how it all unfolded, please visit: the
we love shrine blogsite, and scroll through the entries since that first week in October.
∞ ceci
6
27 September 2011
week seventy >> "Yippee"
1/5/12
dear Hemphill,
I'm writing this in retro-post, as the intention to birth an entry for this 9/27/11 week has lingered and festered in my consciousness ever since that very week when no posting came to pass. I was at my dad's this end of september week, didn't get on the internet much, and decided to make the post upon my return to lala. except that very night the unexpected happened and threw all plans out the preverbal window. as you know, dear friend and housemate Shrine, prolific artist loved worldwide, was in a critical car accident the very night I got back to los angeles. fascinating that my post for that week was going to reflect on a major accident I had 15 years prior, this same week, from which the initial context for Z page "Yippee" arose, of which I was going to share about in my post. and then Bam, same week Shrine faces his own, in fact it happened 3 months ago to this day . (dear readers: Shrine is thankfully and miraculously WELL, if you're interested in his status please see 10/5/11 post)
on the left side of Z page, just a few months after we started ZBOOK, you remember I was in Guadalajara recuperating from said accident and wrote some words about how I was feeling, which was rather trapped in limbo. later, a year or 2 later, I looked at this page and proclaimed in bubble letters: NOW I"M FREE. to which you responded on right: YIPPEE
seeing this I realized how heavy I had been through the intensity of my process, and what a JOY the intensity the ride truly was, for it enabled me to to reclaim my freedom. thank you for bringing your laughter, your healing cheers into life dear Hemphill.
∞ ceci
6
dear Hemphill,
I'm writing this in retro-post, as the intention to birth an entry for this 9/27/11 week has lingered and festered in my consciousness ever since that very week when no posting came to pass. I was at my dad's this end of september week, didn't get on the internet much, and decided to make the post upon my return to lala. except that very night the unexpected happened and threw all plans out the preverbal window. as you know, dear friend and housemate Shrine, prolific artist loved worldwide, was in a critical car accident the very night I got back to los angeles. fascinating that my post for that week was going to reflect on a major accident I had 15 years prior, this same week, from which the initial context for Z page "Yippee" arose, of which I was going to share about in my post. and then Bam, same week Shrine faces his own, in fact it happened 3 months ago to this day . (dear readers: Shrine is thankfully and miraculously WELL, if you're interested in his status please see 10/5/11 post)
"yippee" click to view |
on the left side of Z page, just a few months after we started ZBOOK, you remember I was in Guadalajara recuperating from said accident and wrote some words about how I was feeling, which was rather trapped in limbo. later, a year or 2 later, I looked at this page and proclaimed in bubble letters: NOW I"M FREE. to which you responded on right: YIPPEE
seeing this I realized how heavy I had been through the intensity of my process, and what a JOY the intensity the ride truly was, for it enabled me to to reclaim my freedom. thank you for bringing your laughter, your healing cheers into life dear Hemphill.
∞ ceci
6
24 September 2011
week sixty nine >> "transmission"
Sarah Kay |
in a most compelling transmission of transmissions,
spoken word artist Sarah Kay tells all about telling....
of story, and how we can discover our value through
uncovering and releasing the nuanced facets of our
own unique ways of tasting life. >> click video below
"transmission" click to view |
on the planet, I feel. thank you Sarah.
∞ ceci
6
17 September 2011
week sixty eight >> "transmission"
"transmission" click to view |
back in los angeles for a few days now, decompression underway, transition from a major transmission. my trip, a couple very intense weeks, intensely beautiful, and intensely shifting as I come face to face -like in every visit for the past few years, this one more than ever- with the genes, the roots, the core tendencies, and the beauty of myself, my mom, and my Tata, with curious clues to what likely was for her mama and hers and... reflections abound and choices make their forking roads clear; which threads do I regenerate, and which end now with me? I am presented with the opportunity to step wide and observe the tight knit patterns in a different way than ever done before, without judgment, releasing shame and blame and regret, all with reverence to the pain, the loss, and the gain, not denying it, facing and feeling it through -as dark as the shadows may get, clearing the bounds, freeing myself to observe my roots and myself clearly, with love instead of animosity, and choose from here, in this clearing, perhaps the first one vested with the liberty to observe, to choose, and to change. vested because I choose to receive it, to step into this clearing, this freedom to free myself and my lineage, to choose how to live fully; and it is undoubtedly a golden privilege to do so. this visit comes at a critical current juncture of my life with major awakenings and transformations, and O yes transmissions, taking place through me. I didn't even know I was pupa for so long. I'm dying now. surrender. and a "gloriously winged creature"* is busting through as we speak.
ready for take off.
∞ 6
* Chris Stevens ~ Mosquito Spring episode, season 4: Northern Exposure
ready for take off.
∞ 6
* Chris Stevens ~ Mosquito Spring episode, season 4: Northern Exposure
06 September 2011
week sixty seven >> "Fiesta"
Hello from Cartagena! I have the great privilege to be here once again visiting my grandma Tata, continuing to enjoy her in excellent health and sound sharp mind, and this year we are celebrating her 100 years alive! She is truly "una maravilla." She is outlasting a century!
And in that century the entire world has turned over a billion times over. How can she even recognize it? Mostly, she doesn't, and as humans do she sees only what is real for her and all the rest is like a mirage that passes over her like a weather system, like a parallel universe. isn't it though? all of time happening at once makes for untold parallel universes all operating in one woven fabric of life. she certainly lives in hers, her own world. no need to time travel, I can touch another time by touching her, and being touched by her stories. ~ after experiencing the advent of electricity, telephone, radio, and film, how crazy that we are now showing her slideshow movies of her life on an ipad. she tells me she has no idea how it is happening, and the truth is neither do I! Heck, I don't even understand the complete workings of electricity. But we enjoy the experience anyhow. Everyone asks me "how does she do it?" referring to my Tata's age, and health to boot. Again, it's not something to figure out or be understood, it is something to enjoy and experience. I am so grateful that I get to enjoy her still. And that is what Tata does, she's living in a future world, she doesn't understand it, but she continues to live it well.
me and Tata at 230am, night of her 100th birthday |
"fiesta" click to view |
ps(l): Thank you Hemphill for the Bday love, for both me and my Tata!
03 September 2011
week sixty six >> "Fiesta"
Fiesta |
mysteries revered |
And Happy Centennial Tata - Increible! May the Wisdom of life's experience beam forth unto the glory and blessing of all who surround you, reflecting back unto your own shining soul.
28 August 2011
week sixty five >> strength ~ Expect Big Changes
EXPECT BIG CHANGES play, growth, love, strength |
'Deep sea baby' - I love this song playing in the room, 'Run deep, run wild '-L.Li (really lik'in Likki musically)
CHECK THIS THING OUT Future Present Past |
Actually, as my red tent time commensed this week, the tears seem to be flowing particularly. Mostly in communication relationships...meaning, T. and me. We are breaking through some shit, but man, the misunderstanding is thick, and battle lingers in the air poised, ready to drop in any moment. And then, there are these immense patches of inspired collaborative visioning. Phew!
chef strength |
extended |
Did I tell you Clark street is practically ready, we'll be moving back during September? When are you off to Colombia? I'm in Pasadena at school for faculty meetings next week, at least what I'm able to manage... some days I may leave meetings but will need to rest in the area till kid pickup time.
lady swirl love |
Is ur rest stop open?
Love you, thinking of your healing words and vibes.
KIT, -J.
18 August 2011
week sixty four >> "strength"
I remember writing the words "Expect Big Changes" in ZBOOK while living in New York in the year 2000. I was 26, it was the fall. I was having some major personal epiphanies, and emerged with this thought, this declaration, voiced through ZBOOK, where all other trains of our thought traveled through btwn 1996 and 2010. It was a moment of tuning into my strength, and I at once wanted to share it with Jennifer, through our treasured portal, this book where we communicated on other plains and dimensions, so very often without ever discussing them off the page.
"strength" click to view |
Strength. In the tarot it is the card of the Leo, the card that tells the story of our ability to not only have power, but to Fully own our power, harness it, and direct it with our CHOICE, using our power to determine our domain and create greatness of our lives, in lue of being at the mercy of unmitigated power, impulsive, explosive and ultimately expulsed to a loss. We are in the time of Leo right now in these early August weeks. This week we celebrate the birthday of Jennifer's husband Tony (8/16) and my dad (8/20).
It takes strength to handle the Big Changes of our lives. To face them, handle them, heal through them, learn from them, and become them. This week while on an "extended visit during an extended stay"** with my family, I have been experiencing my strength through major changing dynamics within relationships within my family. On both sides, in new and unexpected ways. How else does change come? I must be strong for myself, and strong for them. Perhaps I will share about this sometime. And this week Jennifer is expereincing her huge strength as she is undergoing the huge change of venue of forging through a surgery and the embarkment of recovery of her Achilles. Perhaps she will share about this sometime.
Godspeed Hemphill. It is your strength that has been an anchor of inspiration since the day we first converged. I only hope to reflect it back to you.
love you dear sister. Tajada.
∞ ceci
**written in New York as well, during Jennifer's "extended stay" visit to me & Vinh that fall of 2000, during which we handed off ZBOOK in person :)
11 August 2011
week sixty three >> "invited"
A long time ago, in a land not so far away, two young women were working away through night and day, painting and drawing, creating and playing. Energy was sparking and dawn was emerging when they found themselves drawn out of their studio cave into the fresh air and light of the middle of May.
Inspiration caught their scent and called to them to climb to the tallest tower. Thus they found themselves scaling steep ladders toward the pinnacle of Harder stadiums observation peeks where views of the surrounding lands abounded. To commemorate this wonderous occasion, when time and space had expanded and contracted within their experience, the two companions unwrapped a gift from another beloved soul friend, Father Hutch. The green genie inside unleashed his powers of wish, bestowing unto the girls an unforgettable and magical celebration filled with dancing and singing and loving.
02 August 2011
week sixty two >> "invited"
July 2011: HIGH ATE US
"invited" click to view |
We didn't announce our July sabbatical because it ultimately came as news to us as well :) ...it pretty much announced itself: a time of rest for ZBOOK 4EVER ....as our attention was pulled fervently into travels and other creative work vital to the impending launch into a new year. Jennifer has a new year opening up with the school year of her children and of her work at Waldorf ...and as my birthday approaches I am entering my new year ...as always restorative, regenerating thresholds are emerging, inviting me to renew and refine my vows, my course of action and availability for opportunities and growth. We have been winding up like the high wind, harnessing our energy for the launching of so many ships. This HIGH consumed our July, or you could say, ATE US. (haha, we love words. and boy are there a lot of words on Z page we pulled for this week, "invited") We honor our time of hiatus as a needed ebb to fully activate the next flow of ourselves, our work, and ZBOOK 4EVER in this new year now igniting. we are entering a season of invitations. Calls to action from visions lit up by the summer sun. Wonder (soul sister) twins ACTIVATE.
∞ ceci
6
24 June 2011
week sixty one >> "whistle"
What!!?? Are you crazy!!??
So, it's nearing midnight, and I'm in a funk of tiredness as I struggle to push through finishing round one of end of year reports when I decide to take a breather and hey, yes, check-in on zbook page of the week; when what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but two bad-ass, rock-solid, mega-women on steroids, streaming their boldly flowing juices to one another...
and I am reminded that I have resources to tap, pools of strength to dive into for refreshment and nourishment and rejuvenation!
Thank you Ceci for over-riding and selecting a sweetly delicious and firey spread for this uber flamin week / month / life.
This is a fave fabulouso! One of our Oh YES spreads, as it flashes into the noggin memories galore... times of superhero status when nothing could get in our way and dogs with keys were our allies... must be time to start whistling, as it is hot hot hot... was this not one of our Hot pages? should a been; callin us now back into the fire.
MUchas besas bella, love you ~J.
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