week sixty one >> "whistle"

What!!??  Are you crazy!!??  

So, it's nearing midnight, and I'm in a funk of tiredness as I struggle to push through finishing round one of end of year reports when I decide to take a breather and hey, yes, check-in on zbook page of the week; when what to my wondering eyes should appear,

but two bad-ass, rock-solid, mega-women on steroids, streaming their boldly flowing juices to one another...

and I am reminded that I have resources to tap, pools of strength to dive into for refreshment and nourishment and rejuvenation! 

Thank you Ceci for over-riding and selecting a sweetly delicious and firey spread for this uber flamin week / month / life. 

This is a fave fabulouso! One of our Oh YES spreads, as it flashes into the noggin memories galore... times of superhero status when nothing could get in our way and dogs with keys were our allies... must be time to start whistling, as it is hot hot hot... was this not one of our Hot pages?  should a been; callin us now back into the fire.

MUchas besas bella, love you ~J.

Collecting Stories

"lush"    click to view

On the upper right of Z page "lush"  is an excerpt from a now long gone magazine article that Jennifer cut out and collaged into ZBOOK.  These words are like a sound bite of a story, a voice from an experience. Reminds me of the "partial glimpse" that artist and computer scientist Jonathan Harris mentions in his TED talk about collecting stories.  Jonathan has always been interested in stories, using all kinds of mediums to capture them, and now is using the tools of computer and internet to create living documents about current human kind through collecting their on going stories.  This is from his FAQs on his website:

The intersection of storytelling and computer science is unusual — how did you arrive at it?
I have always been interested in storytelling, which I see as the soul of human life. As a kid, this meant writing my own comic books. As a teenager this meant keeping sketchbooks. In college, this meant starting a magazine of personal travel stories. After studying computer science, this meant finding a way to use the web to re-imagine what storytelling can be. At each step, I try to use whatever tools are available to me. When the tools change, I change.

In this TED talk (below), Jonathan talks about the sketchbooks he has always carried with him that he fills with his paintings, writings, documentation, and found artifacts from his days.... sound familiar?  He then began collecting found objects from which he became interested in the "partial glimpse" of people's stories, rather than the whole, because with a partial glimpse one can then fill in the rest with their imaginations.  Much like what I've been exploring with my recent art.  He goes on to more recent work also in which he now uses a camera to snap up stories, frame by frame, moment by moment, glimpse by glimpse.

It became clear to me about 5 years ago, that ZBOOK is a story of stories.  It is essentially a collection of glimpses from our lives -traces of our thoughts, experiences, creative whims- mixed with glimpses from the lives around us, via found objects and gleaned pieces of print, stickers, tags, and other "junk" (treasures).  As a forever kid who loves to find things, it has been so fun to have a place to play with and re-activate these found items of life.  For whichever stories unfold, even if created from a bundle of "partial glimpses," are a source for personal reflection and thus a potential opportunity to gain some fresh perspective on my own narrative.  Stories, "real" or imagined, are bridges for our communing with others and ultimately ourselves.

∞ ceci
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ps(l): check out Jonathan Harris' sketchbooks ! ...exquisite.

week fifteen >> "lush" - JULY: HOT pages!

LUSH

Awash in color,

I step through scwaler.

Splitting hairs over splitting Atoms,

I search for hidden knowledge.

Take this piece,

 - Make it walk.

 LUSHious souls Volupt,

Speak words to Talk.

The Sun it rises,
The Sun it sets,

These flames in freezing,

through Summers Lick.

In prayer, this compass,

sets Arrows flashing.

warped, casted shadows,

Great lights, shades sealing.

Under purple Mountains majesty,

windowpanes, statue-lanes, and round ro-tains,

Stand whight, gray, silver,

blue-lined Rivers shining.


-J. Gould

renegations

click these to view!

"caution"   click to view

In the upper left of "caution" we see a snag of caution tape from a renegade mission accomplished by Jennifer in february 1999, in which she traversed the construction zone of the new UCSB art museum.  We have long fancied such impromptu expeditions, as upon our many walkabouts we encounter such zones of construction or the unseen that beckon our exploration.  Z page this week got us reminiscing about our renegations from the last 14 years, via "chat"

ceci (10:49 AM):  hi! I was vaccuming    hemphill (10:47 AM):  Me too!!!     ceci (10:49 AM):  lol   

hemphill (10:49 AM):  wow, - what does that mean?... about us both sucking up dust and bugs and other particles, before coming to this session... interesting, especially for me because of the dust factor, dirt, which comes with going into a construction zone. You don't go in new, clean clothes, ya know.

ceci (10:52 AM):  right!    ceci (10:52 AM):  renegades often are in camouflage of their terrain     

hemphill (10:53 AM):  yes, color blending...my favorite memory

ceci (10:54 AM):  so let's see... we would be on adventures at night on campus... off hours...no man's land ...ours for the taking

hemphill (10:54 AM):  ...remember when we went ontop of the new humanities building - and scaled the thin disk, record like escapements?

ceci (10:54 AM):  that was the BEST, way high   up like treading on a saturn ring ...way beyond imaginings    

hemphill (10:55 AM):  I think Hesse or McLaughlin were with us on that one?    

ceci (10:55 AM):  Hesse for sure    hemphill (10:55 AM):  I thought so   ceci (10:55 AM):  after us breaking into a classroom!

ceci (10:59 AM):  so the first I remember, is the new admin building being built in like spring of 1996 I guess, yeah, 'cause when I got back to school the next year it was finished and in use by then... it was night, of course, we were walking by and we both looked at each other like.. we just knew what was next

ceci (11:03 AM):  in that moment I was remembering that back in high school Vinh and I snuk into construction zones of new homes being built and had romantic evenings in the wooden skeletons of homes to be, complete with candle lit dinner.

ceci (11:04 AM):  and I think you also shared with me at the time some memories of your past construction zone fun too...   what did we do, climb the fence, or find a gap to enter through?

hemphill (11:06 AM):  I'm pretty sure, we wiggled through something - a gap or whatnot... we may have needed to climb fence to get out.

ceci (11:06 AM):  I think a dumpster was involved... for helping boost us... and we went to the structure's upper levels, right?

hemphill (11:07 AM):  quick sideflash - the first time I ever climbed a fence, was with my dad, after we broke into my moms school and office to decorate her room for her 40th birthday, I think I was - um, 12?    

ceci (11:08 AM):  that is RAD.... another school!.... afterhours baby

hemphill (11:08 AM):  Ok, a dumpster, I do not recall that... ha ha ha....  And, if we went to the second floor, you may be thinking of another entry besides what i'm thinking of, though I don't think you are... I remember very skeletal - and lots of holes, and cement.

hemphill (11:10 AM):  That was the first I remember too though - and it was awesome! it was a possibly a greater turning point in our friendship... like, no turning back, ever!

hemphill (11:11 AM):  do you think that was pre- zbook? i'd guess pre for sure.

hemphill (11:12 AM):  I was so bummed by that whole new stretch of buildings and reconstructions, which that admin building seemed to be the first... because of the loss of z perfect tunnel.

hemphill (11:12 AM):  where else?    hemphill (11:13 AM):  I remember a disc hucking session on a big construction zone in Vegas - like a parking lot in construction - do you have that memory?

ceci (11:14 AM):  yes, in the back lot of the Venician, 1999...may...  we somehow, only Hemphill and cec, got out a random backdoor...

hemphill (11:15 AM):  p.s.l. that's the first time I've heard about yours and Vinh's exploits into off- limits - coolio - nice picture

ceci (11:15 AM):  .....and ended up where no one ever goes, total behind the scenes..... behind the sets....   where the garbage and dirty golf carts live....

hemphill (11:16 AM):  yes, that was a great trip too - minus the loss of the genie - somewhere out there, on the road to Vegas!

ceci (11:16 AM):  alleys and dumpsters and nthing painted pretty...   

ceci (11:16 AM):  O yeah!  sacrafice to the gods    hemphill (11:16 AM):  oooh, I didn't recall dirty golf carts.    ceci (11:17 AM):  ...yeah, just so not "Vegas"....  ...but what makes it all run you know...

hemphill (11:17 AM):  what do you remember about sacrificing to the gods? - I must have been imbibing something.

ceci (11:17 AM):  ...leave it to us to discover the real deal...   ceci (11:17 AM):  the genie    hemphill (11:18 AM):  I'd be paranoid to day, I've seen to many CSI episodes.

ceci (11:18 AM):  DUDE and it's VEGAS, where there is a cmaera in every crack and cranny!... although we were doing nothing wrong at all, just tooling around and hucking disc

hemphill (11:19 AM):  yeah, but still, Vegas seems, run by people...who don't play frisbee!

and, O yes, and let it be known that we adore hucking disc, or tossing the frisbee as it is commonly known, and play as we walk and travel as we huck, the disc always leading us to new terrains to trespass...

∞ ceci

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The Story of Stuff

Speaking of the systems of industry and consumption that target us And that we participate in... have you seen The Story of Stuff ?  In just 20 minutes, this little video breaks down the infrastructure of our consumption based economy and our "stuff" dependent lifestyles and how the "linear system" of how our stuff is produced and consumed can't possibly sustain our "finite planet indefinitely." And all with super accessible and cute cartoon animation that bring in the palatable slash funny factor that keeps us giggling a bit so we can face and swallow the truth which, like I was saying in my last post, helps us get present to our reality so we can be in position for present action (change).

Annie Leonard, the author and host of The Story of Stuff, said this in the Los Angeles Times article from this month on her and her -Story- videos:

"We environmentalists are a whiny, wonky bunch," Leonard says. "We bombard people with facts. But who wants to join a movement where people just scold you? We have to make it inspiring. We have to make it fun."

YES! Exactly what Z page of this week "caution" is rooted in... awareness through pointing out the likes of the very silliness of our own "bought" into systems.  (And look at how our page "caution" also has linear system imagery, with arrows, just like Annie uses in her video.. neat!)  Annie's "fun" strategy of communicating that which is very serious is used in another of her videos The Story of Bottled Water, only 8 minutes and excellent. Both pieces contain links to solutions and actions we can take now. Watch them here....!

Click to View Large ... on the right side of "caution" find
the linear system going down, with arrows, like the 
horizontal one in The Story of Stuff

∞ ceci

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this too shall trespass

"caution"

Both an ode and an exposé, "caution" is a cautionary tale about 

our modern world, the world we love and hate... of conveniences, 

standards, regulations, technologies, structures, communications, 

test markets, commercial branding, warnings, liabilities, and 

messages, messages, messages.  All with a good chuckle, of 

course, at all the hoopla and conditioned frameworks we create.

 * click all images to view large *

This page is comprised of mostly an assemblage of the daily stuff of our lives, gleaned from the stuff we consume, cut out tags and peeled off stickers with messages of some kind of warning or commercial agenda.  Messages that tell us or sell us what to do and what to not do. Or messages that "feel good" but are manufactured for the sole purpose to sell a product; we consume the message, we consume the product... in other words, we "buy it."  

But "caution," in the very act of identifying each object and placing it on this page, is also a revelry in being AWARE... of being a target, being a market group, being conditioned, being hooked on "convenience," and being a willing participant in it all.  It is a wake up call to our own part of the game and a kick in the pants for being hip to it.  It's a chance to call ourselves out and confess that these things that give us "security" and "freedom" actually keep us captive... 

 

...like the car that makes us feel free to go anywhere but is ruled by the viscous animal which is oil that holds the keys.  Huh, funny, I just now made that specific coloration, with oil.  This cut out image has always, for years now, signified to me the irony of our dependence on technology, as well as the nature vs. nurture debate, And now, in 2010, my thinking goes beyond technology, for it is painfully clear that our dependence is truly on what fuels our technology and the fuel that it is all manufactured with... for thAt is the true gate keeper and key master.  I could wallow in disgust and animosity but that is a loop hole keeps us in the muck where there is no hope or possibilities. It is our expanding AWARENESS and release of our shame that gets us present and in position to make actual changes.  For me, that is what this page is about, the moment of honestly looking myself in the face, and instead of crying, have a good laugh at our unthinkable state, and begin to trespass our trespassers, change the game, make new choices, cross the boundary lines of the regulations that regulate our minds.  Laughter may just be our first step over the barrier.

∞ ceci

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week fourteen >> "caution" - JULY: HOT pages!

Continuing our forage into Hot pages, we take you now to territory off-limits.  Behold, "Caution"!  Freeze frame to a story flash of friendship on fire...one fateful night, probably in the fall, Zbook went renegade, leading us into the darkness of "under construction, keep out".  As we dared and lept through fresh passage and creeping hall, we called our courage to explore a building zone on UCSB campus - and truth be told, it wasn't the first or the last of such endeavorings.  Take hold, this thought: 'to none but the bold and courageous go any pieces of yellow tape' imposters watch out!

Tres-pass

Count-down - 4-3-2-1-

Vis-cer-al EX-plo-sion,

A-B-C, mo-neyin, brown-box a-la gol-den.
Beep - -Beep - B-eep,- Beep, Be-ware
deep holes, sharp blades, mean teeth, piercing rays.
Stay clear, Grass-crawler, take care -
nipple-test tech-nol-o-gys.

Mo-by pil-low-bombs,

point to king-dom comes,

Map-of- faces, Con-ste-lla-tions,

love-cannons stan-ding by.

Roc-ket boo-sters - trip-le threats,

Red-dead-ly, Bu-bbles,

Quick-craw-ling Scu-ttles,

French-phoned se-crets.

ExSat - De-li-ver-y,

Gal-i-le-o glow, groo-vy sanwich-to-go,

mar-ket -la-tit-ude – be-tween,

chiquita, monfrita,

comeshakeawithmea,

A-L-O-fellas-we-gree-tya,

Gold-pink-purple, hear me screamyah -

Your - Heart - PLAY - WOW - Do not leav-eah!

-J.G.

Fleischman & O'Connell

Throughout ZBOOK you will find a number of quotes gleaned from Northern Exposure, a television show from the 1990's (1990-1995) that has 4ever captured our hearts and inspiration ever since we both discovered the show individually just months before meeting in 1996 (thanks PSL). Jennifer first mentioned our adoration for the show in Clicking Away.  Well, amongst the wonderful ensemble of characters are our main flames: Dr. Joel Fleischman, the New York doctor who we follow into Cicely Alaska in his doomed/blessed 5 year obligation as the town's physician, and Maggie O'Connell, Gross Point (Michigan) beauty turned Alaskan bush pilot.  From their first encounter these two are at each other's throats AND ironically also share an intense underlying desire to devour each other, you know, in the best way.  Either way, this friction creates HEAT.

"You're either lovers, or you're wanting to be lovers, or you're trying not to be lovers so you can be friends, anyway you look at it sex is always looming in the picture like a shadow, like an undertow."
Maggie O'Connell (circus comes to Cicely episode)

"What I really want is to lick her naked body from head to foot like a postage stamp."
Joel Fleischman (the 2 Fleischmans episode)

And so,  Z page this week, "hot," is a reveling in friction and tension and anticipation and... sweet release.  The stories written on this page by our own hands feel like quotes from our psyches, from hot moments, from in or out of time?  Like the page says across the very bottom... 

"               a  fantasy               ...........                a  memory               ...........               both               ...........              "

"hot"   click to view Large

∞ ceci

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Life is so fi-lipin' Bizarre

'HOT'- a spread with a thousand stories.
click for larger view

Oh my, oh my oh my , oh my, oh my ohh,

it is HOT tonight L.A.,

sweltering heats in the sheets.

All babes are still,

let's take a thrill, down loves eternal flame.

Closet covers layed to coat,

rocking chair, breasts so bare,

edge of bed, back-yard moat,

 living - room, boom bam boom.

Feelin' right, burning light,

ear's sharp sight - faint Saint churning.

Mamma's there, touch and care,

roll to Daddy's burn, returning.

And so, into the dark, tonight, before climbing into my husbands bed...

my thoughts were dear, in flight to steer, my grandmothers home brocade.

In Pico's care, my hearts sheer tear, will sleep, god rest her mind.

'Ancestors behind po-em voices, a few.'
see week  ____for more         -J. Gould

Fruit and water, air and caller, sweety dreams, weary genes.

Yeay, Grandma is home, in her city, friends to caw.

Brave, tired and bossy, sucking gummies and straw.

and for god's sake, "She's not moving!

Tonight, suitcases were loaded, windows adjusted,

and beds to master remotes.

Tonight, roses were gathered, with rosemary and lavendar,

glass vase with a star in one side.

Kisses and hugs, gentle eyes, great big sighs,

we're in need of deep-tissue massage.

Perhaps, when its clear, this new path,

secret seer, takes a hand in the blooming brigade.

And till then, I, myself, every day onward boating,

every moment, swiftly floating.

But tonight, sweat and pet, groove and grind, 

don't be kind, till you're met with your partners straight line.

more to come,

 -J. Gould

week thirteen >> "hot" - JULY: HOT pages!

July is HOT page month, and this week's page is in fact..."hot." It is the page that first gave rise to heat in ZBOOK.  Ignited by words, "hot" is an ode to passion, in which breaths of secret moments tango with moments of secret fantasies. Both captivating and ephemeral, these verses travel like the wind through psyches, guts, loins, and hearts.  The ones of two young women, both vernal and fermented. 

"hot"              click to view LARGE

∞ ceci

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Love Bomb Contractions

Hot page expand,

     now take me there

Oh yes, oh please, I'll show no fear.

Our hero here,

        he enters fair

and makes his way down Sodom's stair.

He flaps his foot,

     he flips his press

He mingles downward toward my chest.

click for larger view

Light bright, thine eyes beware

peel, squeal, pastel-curtained underwear.

Watch out, loves test

sharp blades inject thy bold request.

Flesh wet, squeezed in

pink caverns, endometrium.

shiver, quiver,

   loves touch

breathe, heave, too much.

Sparkle seen,

   lining green

kiss, lick, flower queen.

Squish, squeeze,

    Oh, please

splish, splash, drip, teaze.

-J. Gould

p.s.l. update on my post, 7-2-10: GGmas doing better, still in hopital in Maui.  She's working hard, through pain to endure physical therapy so she can come home to LA, possibly next week!

the moment

"The Moment"                       click to view

A month ago I shared about my live painting experience at the Lighting in a Bottle Festival (see June 10 post) and about how the process helped me wake up to where I am growing as an artist.  Also I shared how the painting, for me, was not complete... I had not treated the edges, signed and dated it, or even titled it.  Most importantly, it was missing the final touch, an element that would bring it closure so that it could truly commence.  As I mentioned in that prior post, it is the element of STORY that most excites me right now, which I feel deepens a piece/painting from symbolic to experiential.  Fortunately I was able to get in touch with the top bidders of the painting and ask them if they'd be open to my bringing closure to the piece. Nicole and Chad graciously welcomed me to their home in San Luis Obispo to do what I needed to do.  I treated the edges, fine tuned the tundra, and then gave this "place" a reason for being... 

click these to view

click these to view
below, Nicole & Chad & Guinness

enter two little figures who are traveling this terrain.  A pilgrimage? A walkabout?  Is this the place they are in, or is this place in them, in their minds, projected into their world.  Who's dreaming who?  The dialogue between the duo on the land, the interplay between them and and the large peaceful figure in the distance, their relationships with each other and with the other elements in the atmosphere... untold stories are to be conceived of and mused over by you, the viewer, and ultimately by the owners who have this piece hanging in their living room.  Thank you Nicole and Chad for your warm welcome and open hearts.  It was such a pleasure to have the opportunity to bring this piece "home" right with you in your home. I am grateful and honored.  

The title is The Moment. 

Everyone, please share any impressions and stories you feel through this piece, in comments below.  I'd love to hear your feedback.  This piece marks yet another new beginning for me and my art. My experience of its process and myself, from the live painting at LIB to the finishing touches at its home, is even more significant to me than how the piece resulted.  A shift occurred in me, a vital one. Not only in my creative process, also in my human process.

"love bomb"   click to view

I am tickled that this week's page from ZBOOK reflects a similar elemental sythesis as in The Moment. "Love Bomb" consists of mostly abstract imagery, starting with the middle black ink drawing, then radiating pastel aura layers, onto the what started as a flower and mutated over time into an eruption of color, and then the cell like growths that nestled in beneath.  A pretty picture indeed. And then BAM!  I opened up ZBOOK one day to find our hero taking his place in the sky and revealing the reason for the color-shed.  It was his doing, all along! Thanks to Jennifer, he finally revealed himself!  One of the bold moves, out of many, that she has made with collage in ZBOOK, each time surprising and delighting me, inspiring what is possible.  These bold moves are simple, for even just one personal element, such as the hero in "Love Bomb" and the duo in The Moment, can activate a scene into a scenario, into a STORY.  Or many, as may be the case, the wonderful head case that is, that IS your imagination.  A case packed with mystery and curiosity and risk taking and story breaking, live and uninterrupted, full coverage, behind the scenes, and all the in-betweens, nothing is what is seems and it's the nothing that means everything!  Or at least what you deem, this time around. Let's now take another look for a moment.... :)

∞ ceci

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week twelve>> "love bomb" - JULY: HOT pages!

It's July, it's summer, and it' hot, so all month we bring you HOT pages from ZBOOK! These steamy pages are HOT for all their own unique reasons.

This week we debut with "Love Bomb"

"love bomb" click to view

In the light, or dark, of all the fully engaged weapons, in this current day, being used to assert "power" over people and claim their very lives, I look at this page and remember that our greatest power is still yet untapped... the most potent energy source is harnessed inside of us, and it involves no external machine nor target to destroy, in order to prosper. Power over others is a false "power." It is truly a denial of self power for it depends on the demise of others in order to "be" "powerful." Proper power is not control, for control NEEDS something/ someones to control, and proper power needs nothing to power it, it IS power... power simply IS. It stands alone and is regenerative. True power does not plug in to anything, though it may be plugged into. So maybe then power can truly be found in the strength and endurance of the people, such as the people who are at the mercy of the "powers" that be, or should we say "controllers" that be. They are being tapped into, plugged into to "supply" the so-called "power" of the controllers. This strength and endurance, this fortitude, this courage and perseverance... call it heart, call it spirit, call it love, call it god even or divine life force... it is ENERGY, the energy that makes the matter of us and the energy that enlivens this matter into being. Our BEING alone IS power.

Okay, so this is what we are discovering/remembering... but as far as actually tapping into the renewable source of energy that WE are, well we haven't even scratched the surface. Most of us follow the models of "power" shown to us by the controllers that be, unfortunately led the way by our own very government and corporations, and thus still seek power from an external source and usually at the expense of others. I feel that if and when we open ourselves to an expanded awareness of our true nature, we will find that we can move objects, communicate wirelessly without any external devise, and send direct forces of our energy to each other. In many ways we already do, we're just not "seeing" it so we not "believing" it, and thus we cannot know it... yet. This power, this energy, this ISness... let's call it love... let us begin to own it, harness it, and set it off! I am turned ON.

We are on the brink of unearthing our super powers, we ALL can be heroes.

∞ ceci

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