week eighty five >> "Gesture"

Cec darlin,


With love, longing, slight frustration, tired calmness, and ever present gratitude I send these thoughts to you.
(my computer, working fine, then I go to attempt blog, and something new overtakes the screen... Directing me once again to this tiny phone screen ;)

My gesture this week, this month, this year - Intensity 
- the knight of Fire.  The turn of the calendar along with my return to work, after this long semester injury break, has my heart and mind and body pumping.  I've had a few restless nights too, as the pump turned toward anxiety.  From the most intense moments of this feeling, I turned to the Zen tarot for navigation tools... I pulled a dynamic spread, my first time, using the Celtic key layout.  The Knight of Fire showed himself as the Key to the issue, and I am heeding the guidance. Taking  each task into my arrows flame.  This attitude is helping me, because the anxiety is still present, bubbling.  The gesture of intensity is helping me use it, and not be afraid of it, at least when I'm in intensity.  If Im in anxiety, intensity leads me through.

I've loved reading your thoughts in the past week - ive felt connected to your thought world through your sharings.  Im so glad you made the space to return to the yIppee page and express some of your outpour of thoughts there... Its soo good o release what is known to need releasing.  I spent new Years Eve in a torrent of tears, followed by a chant dance to the moon.  New years Day was a beautiful, mountain filled time as we took the kids hunting for snow up the Angeles Crest.  Thus, my creation of the week picture - Gould family snowman 2012!

Love you, talk to you soon
-J.

Ps. Your drawing is beautifully multi-faceted.

week sixty four >> "strength"

I remember writing the words "Expect Big Changes" in ZBOOK while living in New York in the year 2000.  I was 26, it was the fall.  I was having some major personal epiphanies, and emerged with this thought, this declaration, voiced through ZBOOK, where all other trains of our thought traveled through btwn 1996 and 2010.  It was a moment of tuning into my strength, and I at once wanted to share it with Jennifer, through our treasured portal, this book where we communicated on other plains and dimensions, so very often without ever discussing them off the page.

"strength"            click to view

Strength. In the tarot it is the card of the Leo, the card that tells the story of our ability to not only have power, but to Fully own our power, harness it, and direct it with our CHOICE, using our power to determine our domain and create greatness of our lives, in lue of being at the mercy of unmitigated power, impulsive, explosive and ultimately expulsed to a loss.  We are in the time of Leo right now in these early August weeks. This week we celebrate the birthday of Jennifer's husband Tony (8/16) and my dad (8/20). 

It takes strength to handle the Big Changes of our lives. To face them, handle them, heal through them, learn from them, and become them.  This week while on an "extended visit during an extended stay"** with my family, I have been experiencing my strength through major changing dynamics within relationships within my family.  On both sides, in new and unexpected ways.  How else does change come?  I must be strong for myself, and strong for them.  Perhaps I will share about this sometime. And this week Jennifer is expereincing her huge strength as she is undergoing the huge change of venue of forging through a surgery and the embarkment of recovery of her Achilles.  Perhaps she will share about this sometime.

Godspeed Hemphill.  It is your strength that has been an anchor of inspiration since the day we first converged.  I only hope to reflect it back to you. 

love you dear sister. Tajada.

∞ ceci

6

**written in New York as well, during Jennifer's "extended stay" visit to me & Vinh that fall of 2000, during which we handed off ZBOOK in person :)

week forty one >> "out of body"

My current bathroom book, Synchronicity - Through the Eyes of Science, Myth, and The Trickster, gave me insight into my own experiences this week, particularly in light of posting my musings of this weeks spread, “out of body."  One thing after another seemed to halt and alter my path.

Magicians hands

Looking upon this spread, “out of body,” in this swirl of images, there is a reflection of the ancient art of divination. In older civilizations, the magi, the magicians were looked to with great respect to “provide access to the world of spirits for their communities."  The symphonic gloved hands at right, the magicians hands, pinch the white flaming smoke of the ether to decipher stories from this mist.  (On a technical note, these hands are stickers which we drew in arms for.)  I'm remembering a scene from Harry Potter when Dumbledore pulls a golden memory strand from his head and releases it into the Pensieve.  These hands, in 'out of body' are like pluckers of threads from the vast sea of zbook.

"out of body"

This spread, reminds me very much of a tarot card, where symbols float in space, allowing the viewer to reflect their own meaning from the powerful story of the images.  In my reading of "Synchronicity", I was lightened in my original frustration with all the 'interferences' of my work, to think of the playful nature of forces around us, always guiding us toward self knowledge.

“The Trickster delights in frolicking with symbols. Synchronicity in such instances seems to mirror processes that are afoot deep in the psyche. Jumping across boundaries between the conscious and the unconscious, between the psychological and the physical, the Trickster tosses out images in play that express sheer vitality of the imagination.”


Flame the Pheasant Headed Mask

The story of this page, is story. All of these elements have the incredible potential of story in relation to personal meaning. The story of Flame the pheasant headed mask comes to mind.  At top left, the face whose cheek flashes 'DYNAMIC', in my current place of thought could certainly be a manifestation of Jung, who is known for his studies and expressions of ideas about synchronicity.  I particularly love the image of the waterfall pool at bottom left, where 'story' rises from the mist just above.  It reminds me of the way I introduced Council to the fourth grade class I worked with this week... as a bowl which we carve with our deep listening so that we may pour our stories into and see them swirling, uniting us and helping us to understand one another.

story pool

In other spreads, we have seen representatives of the strong and formed faces which Ceci often draws.  Here, these faces are manifestations from my hand.  My technique is often to free form draw, allowing shape or color to guide my form and then finding the being or face, the personality within that has come through and defining it with features.
Ceci has been charged with documenting and uploading details of zspreads the last few weeks, as she is currently in posession of zbook.  She wanted me to know that one encircling sentence of the right page side was captured in different shots...thus, I feel it is important to decipher said recording and show it's path on the page up close : " I just love bringing Zee book to diff. places & seeing it's beauty glow w/ the settings."

 - to close, a short verse in homage of "out of body"

ENCIRCLEMENTS so delicate and intricate.

Sweet gratitude and Testitude, in love of you.

Out of Body, Out of Mind, soul flight cross waves of time.

Inward unseen, a feeling gleaned.,

A throat, a note, a subtle scene.

Be well and Blessings,

-J.G.

Lucent Oracle

"oracle"     click to view

I shared with you about this in my 9/7 post, and from time to time I will continue to share with you the Oracle Page I conduct on the Lucent Dossier website... what better timing than when Z page "Oracle" graces our week. 

 This week the Oracle pulls the stone of Compassion, please click the photo for the reading.

[if you go to the Oracle page after this week, scroll down to find Compassion (week of 9/27/10) and enjoy the other readings along the way!]


∞ ceci
6

Oracle

click image to go to ORACLE

As Jennifer mentioned in her 8/17 post, I have begun a weekly Oracle page on the website of Lucent Dossier, the performance art collective with whom I perform, sing, and serve as Oracle.  Every week, the Oracle pulls a stone -stones created with sparks from the Runes and Tarot- and conducts a reading for all to reflect with.  In addition to the readings are quotes, videos, and /or links of interwoven inspiration.  

In the spirit of this week's "reflection" and last week's "fortune," I would like to share this weekly Oracle with you...   Click here or the image at right-------->

This week's stone the collective reading reflects our fortune of Abundance….

Z pages:
"fortune" and "reflection"
click these to view

∞ ceci

6

enter here

"5:40 am"        click to view

Who knows where it all began, this page of word flurry.  It's fun to compare our passing of ZBOOK back and forth with each other over the years with the playful fun of girls passing notes between each other in class... and here is a page that is literally packed with actual notes to each other and other verses to the cosmos.  Jennifer and I, as this page reveals itself this week, enjoy how these morsels of expression bring us directly inside of a moment, dipping inside of our own stories, of which we may not know the date, but can recognize the FEEL, triggering our memories, like remembering bits of dreams... 

I don't know what day this journal entry turned verse is from (below), but I can picture the scenario perfectly ...a day in the life of Hemphill and cec roaming the streets of Isla Vista (IV), our potent lil' student town extending from our UCSB campus.
Hucking disc at dawn, 5:40am to be exact.  :)  Synergizing visions, getting into each other's heads like dancing synapes.  Discovering great little gems of spots all over IV and campus to commune in through drawing, tarot card reading, and other spontaneous rituals in honor of the magic of the moment.  The disc I speak of is of the frisbee variety, and huck it we O so love to do.  Back then we would aimFully stroll down the beachy streets of IV, Jennifer on one side, I on the other and we'd huck as we walked, back and forth, with one foot after the other in a full forward current, hardly missing a beat.  Of course there were cars parked at the street sides and so it became clear we were not only hucking disc, but also "saving cars" ...from their imminent risk of disc attack. For the joy of disc in not only in the huck but also in the thrill of the catch.  We became known as "car savers" as did our IV disc walking expeditions.  The only way to travel.
 

These (at right) are lyrics I wrote for a song I made with my band when I lived in
New York in 2001.  

 


These words (at left) I wrote the year after my accident during my last and best year at USCB (97-98). Ironically this was the year that all my PSLers, including Hemphill, were gone and graduated, but after my recoup time away, this last year was indeed my best personal year at SB.

"noticias"       click to view

This word flurry page reminds me of Z page "Noticias," however that one is more report and "5:40 am" is more rapport.  Baring no dates, the words of "5:40 am" are partial glimpses into stories, offering morsels of experiences.  (Just as I was last week with the word web in "Mapa," I am again reminded of Johnathan Harris' work)  It is fun to identify these lil' clues of our moments in time, each one holding a place from which we can enter the narrative of our lives.


∞ ceci
6

week eighteen >> "mapa"

"mapa"  click to view

When I hear this word, 'mapa', I see lands and crossings and adventure in my minds eye.
The picture from the “mapa” spread comes from the summer of July, 2002 at Lake Barryessa.
Tony, Hallie and Vinh have sinced been tribaled out by Ceci’s silver tipped experimentation.
 She apparently thought I was the tattoo / piercing culprit; however, I believe my observation stands here, as I mentioned to her, I probably wouldn't have gone all out on Tony's navel - because I know him too well!

This spread is obviously enhanced by intense shocks of color - blue saturated water colors, and fluorescent pen designs highlight the poignant masked angel beings who appear to be observing the goings on, participating?!  These Venetian robed figures hover as if on a threshhold of mirrored waters.  Through which, the words of life are swirling. 

I can't help but connecting this to the meditation on the Prologue to the Gospel of St. John:

                                                        In the Beginning

                                                        Was the Word

                                                        And the Word

                                                        Was with God

                                                        And the Word

                                                        Was God.

                                                        He was in the Beginning

                                                        With God.

As a studier of Rudolf Steiner, I came across the above 'Incarnation' in an issue of the Anthroposophical Society of LA's monthly newsletter some time ago.  I cut it out to keep and use because the intro said something about RS not being one to give guarantees, however, regarding this prologue, he is said to have said, "If you meditate on the Prologue to the Gospel of St. John, the first five verses (1 and 2 are above), for one year, every day, the whole course of your life will be changed."  That's a pretty powerful statement, so i cut it out.

On another note...

 Here is a short story to take you into the land of lake shores and rocky hillsides:
Our family travels every summer, through the hot plains of California’s fruit basket, into the foothills of the Western Sierras, via Dinuba and the Tivy Valley. As we turn the final curves of Sunnyslope into the domain of Pine Flats Lake, I am always relaxed into dreamy breath as my senses fill with the scenery. Our August trip, to celebrate Tony’s 42nd, was enlivened by his dear cousin's family floating along too. After a weekend overflowing with refreshment, we prepared our intentions and steered our course for Rattlesnake Island... to pay our final respects to Old Grandpa Snake.

We killed Old Grandpa last summer, another story in itself. This summer, a year later, we returned his head to the shores where we first crossed paths. Preserved in a hummus container, soaked in rock salt, OG’s diamond shaped cranium still held poison. We were cautious; my own touch, the only handling of the head and its container with gloves.
Tony and the four kids dug a hole.
I carried and opened the container and unloaded the contents.
Amazingly still well in tact after a year in salt, the head was large and commanded our reverance.
We admired the eyes and the scales and respected the fangs tucked away.
We prayed, then we buried and marked the snakes grave with a split walking stick, secured by rocks.
While the group swam in the warm cove, I climbed to the opposite side of the high water island, where the current is stronger, to rinse the bowls and jump into a cooler area.  I remembered swimming there, along the rocks with Hallie and Jack and cousin Jimmy the previous year,
the weekend we took home the snake.
For Christmas last, Tony tanned the skin and created five wearable pieces from it's length.  I received a baked skin bead on a red stone necklace he strung; Hallie was proud of her rattling bracelet and Tony's cowboy hat band catches any honky tonks eye. 

angels watching
Tonight, Tony and I pulled a powerful spread of cards to commemorate his birthday transition. So much of the weekends great lessons were mirrored in the pulls as we asked guidance from the Shaman Wisdom Cards and connected to the power of Zen utilizing the Osho Zen Tarot. So much power and affirmative wisdom poured through our devoted space; I am incredibly grateful and respondent to the gifts showered down. Tony acknowledges so graciously the truth of a 7 year cycle coming to close, and the next opening. In Steiner speak, he will come into a period once again of a double shot of will development. I will be elaborating on our spread for Tony, if anyone is interested in channeling universal guidance, feel free to ask. And also, go to Ceci’s newly manifested Oracle link – I’m sure she’ll extrapolate and invite expanded participation soon.

Please also feel free to share a comment with inspired vision ... we are on a path of visioning,
and oh my the waters are refreshing.
Blessings and Be well,
-Jennifer