week twenty one>> "reflection"

"reflection"          click to view

Being here in Cartagena with my family certainly does offer me many opportunities for reflection.  Although I am not shaped by this coastal Colombian culture, although I have spent most of my days over 2,000 miles apart from the customs and sensibilities of Cartagena Colombia, and apart  from the lot of my family living here,  it is fascinating to observe behaviors and qualities in my family that seem to be deeply embedded in my makeup… seeing these clearly in them helps me be aware of my own tendencies… and this glimpse into myself, and the constructive or destructive potentials of these tendencies, gives me the opportunity to choose my own adventure… to decide which tendencies serve my higher purpose to grow, create and thrive in peace… and which do not.  We often think that our karmas are written, and that our genes are especially encoded in stone.  I feel that through the power of nonjudgmental observation we can re-direct our "destiny" -even our genes- with our birth right of choice.   So even when a behavior or trait seems to be an innate force within us, if we can step back and observe it with equanimity, then we always have the opportunity to choose whether it serves us and/or if we want to propagate it in ourselves and in our lives, or not.  In my visits here to Cartagena in the past few years, including twice this year of 2010,  I am discovering a symphony of my tendencies, that feel quite rooted in my blood, that I do indeed celebrate and choose to allow to grow in me… such as passion, laughter, sensuality, generosity, music & rhythm, spontaneity, and unabashed expression.  Other tendencies, that through experiencing them in my family and then recognizing them rear their heads from the depths of myself, I have decided to release, thanks to this reflection… such as being so focused to the point of narrow-mindedness, taking the world personally, creating and investing in drama around the smallest of things or stories that are not my own, and impatience. 
It would be easy for me to get down on myself when I allow these destructive impulses to take charge, which is how my ego deals with my ego, literally impatient with my impatience.  And of course I have and do.  But I am learning that the key is to free myself (and anyone else) from judgement and simply choose what does and does not support my ultimate intention for life: peace, harmony, joy… and thus abundant creativity.  In the name of my life and that of my future children, Today I choose to love all of me, and all of my family's intricacies, even when it's not pretty, and then I am free to be precisely who I choose to be. 


∞ ceci
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