out on a limb

"fortune"      click to view

I'm here in Cartagena, gazing at Z page this week "fortune" and triggered in me is a dream I had as a kid, tucked away in my memory banks, dwelling there as a feeling, like so many others, and now is recollecting a few images to the surface.  This dream's feeling connects with the image at right of Z page of the swirly figure on a platform on high.  In the dream, which I had around 5 years old (hey in my last post I was around 5 too!), it was dark as night, and there was an knowing in me that there existed no day, and so I translated it as being in "space."  Funny to experience being in "outer space" during a subconscious experience that is truly that of inner space.  But maybe there really is no linear separation, and maybe that was one of the communications from the dream.

So, I am my same age in the dream, around 5 (not that I really had any concept of being little though), and I am... after a whole adventure in this space station like building, with large windows for walls looking out into the great darkness peppered with city ... the adventure being some kind of strategic mission to escape from some regulated system appearing as a game that all the people were fervently engaged... me knowing that I had to get out and proceeded to slip away through corridors and in between levels, up and down and all around the building until at last I find my way outside... via a small capsule that flies me away, but not too far before dropping me on this small platform that seems to be floating in space, I can't tell if something is supporting it from underneath or not...  I have made it to the outside, but now I am alone, isolated in vastness, and hanging in the balance on this small diameter of a surface... as other capsules wisp on by...¦ still I know that I rather be out here surrounded by dense nothingness than captive inside the structure where they play the system or rather the system plays them.  I figure that my way is the lone way.


A few months later my dad took me to see the 2nd Star Wars movie, The Empire Strikes Back, and I was triggered suddenly back into this very dream by the scene at the end of the movie when Luke, after fighting his dark side dad all through out the cloud city structure, ends up stranded and balancing for his life on this pole in the middle of space.  I was stunned!  The feeling I got from this moment in the movie was so much like my dream, one I couldn't even yet put into words.  Undoubtedly seeing Star Wars the year before ( my 1st movie!) influenced any idea I had of outer space and most likely helped shape my projections of space in my dreams.  But then to see this particular scenario coming at me from the great big screen felt so... intimate, as if life was sending me a message.  ...Luke's buddies thankfully end up locating him and picking him up from his isolated precarious limbo.  Luke had been on a solo pilgrimage for most of this chapter, facing the truth of his gifts -or light, and the truth his origins -or darkness, both proving to be very powerful.  I remember feeling a joyful peace, understanding that although he could only forge his journey on his own, that he also had a team of earnest buddies that had his back.  I didn't know who mine were yet, but at once I felt accompanied, supported in my universe.  I remember proudly confirming to myself that I wasn't afraid to go out on a limb on my own.



∞ ceci
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