parallel moments

"run in parallel" click to view

Continued... from my last post ....reflecting on the words in orange I one day wrote on Z page this week: "run in parallel"

I actually remember the exhale that released from me when I finish the last sentence. It was a waking up of sorts, like realizing you're dreaming and embarking on a lucid journey within the dream. It was breaking merely just the first layer out of a thick tundra of built up belief that my art would have to fit within some "art world" paradigm ignored to be valid and received. I would go on to be quite frozen in my art making in the years to come still allowing such a belief to stifle me.. yet always taking refuge in ZBOOK and thank GOODness for the gift of freedom and play that it always was and is for my creative sanity... which IS my sanity. I did draw here and there through out the next years, but it wasn't until 7 years later that I reengaged fully into my visual art... other than ZBOOK which was my main source for my expression and development during these more dormant years. 7 years later I was now living Los Angeles, a move I made to at last take myself serious as a singer... only to discover that ALL of me would come alive, musically and artistically. I felt very much that at the age of 33 I was only just starting out in life, finally embarking on the development of my arts, let alone the output of them.

In 2008, Jennifer and I took part in an art festival at the Waldorf school where she teaches and had a lovely exhibition of photographs from ZBOOK, of a selection of pages -where they stood at that time. We spent the day showing these photos, working in ZBOOK live, and sharing our story with people - for the fist time. The response was overwhelming. Even beyond the images, the people seemed to be quite impacted by our story of this pulse of creation alive for, then, 12 years. Children and adults alike shared with us how inspired they were. We were inspired by them!

The next day my mom's husband Mike, who had been present at the exhibition, pulled me aside to share his gleaming impression of the show and ZBOOK with me... and asked me the simple question: have you thought about publishing? Whoa, I thought, no I hadn't, it had never occurred to me, I mean the casual one day exhibition alone was this significant outing for ZBOOK and we were still decompressing from that. But suddenly I realized, that here I was, just "starting out" in my life, feeling so much like a new born babe with all my vital work ahead of me, but wait, here in my hand is ZBOOK... IMPORTANT work that I and Jennifer have been doing for 12 (at that time) years!
In this very moment a rush of the moment from 8 years before flooded my awareness... the moment that the words in orange poured onto Z page, the first moment I had any perspective that ZBOOK was in fact important and serious work despite the Play and unregulated creative freedom it sanctioned. That moment back in 2000 up in the Sierras seemed to speak, seemed to sing, directly to this very moment in 2008 as Mike expressed his voice, and what he concluded was also the voice of the masses, that ZBOOK is vital work and needs to be released to the world. (Thank you Mike!) This idea of publishing, along with the response we received from everyone at the show, helped me see ZBOOK as not just a gem in our lives but a potential one for others in the world.... we indeed have a story to share that may very well serve to inspire the creative freedom in people, inspire people to collaborate and experience what is possible through trust and play, and celebrate the power of friendship.

In the last 2 years since then, creating the last layers and definitive closure to ZBOOK, we have decided that we would like to publish and have pondered continuously the many possible forms in which we could output ZBOOK... coffee table book, journal type mag, picture book with inspired verse, memoirs, or ZBOOK as is???? It has been something that bewildered us long enough to not have submitted for publication just yet. We have ben sure of one thing though, that we want to share our story. The story of Jennifer and Ceci and how friendship led to collaboration led to play led to trust led to freedom led to discovery led to our ART..... which produced ZBOOK. This year it occured to us that we could begin to do this right now, out putting our story and ZBOOK out to people immediately... with a blog! And thus zbook4ever.com was birthed.

Now that you dear readers have a taste of ZBOOK (for going on 30 weeks now, today!), what are YOUR thoughts on how we could publish it and our story? We'd love to hear from you and any possiblities you feel for outputting ZBOOK.... please leave a comment below! YOU out there have become a dazling source of inspiration for us in here... we would be honored to hear about your ideas and reflections, please click here or below to leave an comment!

in love & gratitude
∞ ceci
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